Joined: 03 Mar 2007 Posts: 394 Location: Malaysia Country:
Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 6:50 am Post subject:
I need your help.My best friend is Chinese girl.We very close.But yesterday i make she crying.I don't want she crying.It start when i try make a joke but suddenly she say " I don't want to talk with you again". Do you know what i muat do ? I try to say "Sorry" but she crying crying crying and crying.Please help me? Onegaisyimas
Joined: 20 Jul 2004 Posts: 12782 Location: USA Country:
Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 6:37 pm Post subject:
inamoto_yoi wrote:
I need your help.My best friend is Chinese girl.We very close.But yesterday i make she crying.I don't want she crying.It start when i try make a joke but suddenly she say " I don't want to talk with you again". Do you know what i muat do ? I try to say "Sorry" but she crying crying crying and crying.Please help me? Onegaisyimas
What was the joke that upset her so much?
That seems important to me. _________________
Joined: 11 May 2009 Posts: 479 Location: up hill and down dale Country:
Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:29 pm Post subject:
^ Yeah. I second that. Can.Not. Compute. Need... more... information. Maybe she had some kind of personal problem that she was about to confide to you, then you cracked that joke and she felt that you were making light of her feelings...?
Maybe you can tell her, "I don't know what it was that I did or said that hurt your feelings, but I'm very sorry for making you cry. I never meant to hurt you or make you angry in any way. Our friendship means a lot to me, and if there's anything you want to talk about, I just want to know that I'm here for you and I'm willing to listen." --or something like that.
And if you can sense that she needs a little more time to cool off, then just try to understand her situation. From my experience, a little time and patience can go a long way. Besides, at the end of the day, it's your friendship that really matters, right? Hopefully your friend will realize that soon enough.
inamoto_yoi, ganbatte!
"Friends laugh at your silliest jokes, put up with your worst moods, go along with your craziest ideas, and always see the best in you."
---Anonymous
Joined: 25 Mar 2004 Posts: 916 Location: SF Bay Area Country:
Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2009 1:45 am Post subject:
It would be easy for me to say that patience may lead to her drifting off, but:
If she cries, then she must have some feeling for you. You must show that you did not mean to hurt her.
You will be OK! _________________
Joined: 03 Mar 2007 Posts: 394 Location: Malaysia Country:
Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2009 6:38 am Post subject:
Today i go to say "sorry" and want give flower to her.But before i want say it , She say it first.I ask her why she crying when i make joke,i just speak in chinese .The word mean you are lazy because not coming yesterday.Everyday i make joke for her,She so happy and she will ask me if i don't have joke to make.But this time she crying.She say "I crying because her pet run away from me, sorry make you feel sad".I want laugh but i can't do it because she is my best friend ,so i just smile.Thank God . Maybe you right she have some feeling to me.But what feeling? love? It can be happen?
Joined: 20 Jul 2004 Posts: 12782 Location: USA Country:
Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2009 7:21 am Post subject:
inamoto_yoi wrote:
Today i go to say "sorry" and want give flower to her.But before i want say it , She say it first.I ask her why she crying when i make joke,i just speak in chinese .The word mean you are lazy because not coming yesterday.Everyday i make joke for her,She so happy and she will ask me if i don't have joke to make.But this time she crying.She say "I crying because her pet run away from me, sorry make you feel sad".I want laugh but i can't do it because she is my best friend ,so i just smile.Thank God . Maybe you right she have some feeling to me.But what feeling? love? It can be happen?
So she was crying over something else entirely. ......
Glad she wasnt mad at you.
But it doesnt sound to me now like she has other feelings for you.
People who lose their pets are always freaked out with no sense of humor. I hope hers was found. It is beyond upsetting when they are lost and you dont know if they are even alive, or stolen...... _________________
Joined: 11 May 2009 Posts: 479 Location: up hill and down dale Country:
Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2009 7:56 am Post subject:
Eve wrote:
People who lose their pets are always freaked out with no sense of humor. I hope hers was found. It is beyond upsetting when they are lost and you dont know if they are even alive, or stolen......
...or eaten!!!
inamoto_yoi: All's well that ends well, ne? Good to hear you guys have patched things up.
And yeah, based on what you've told us so far, I don't think that's enough grounds to conclude that she has romantic feelings for you. Believe me, for a LOT of girls, their closest male friend is usually... no more than that--a FRIEND. And showing your hand too soon (without making sure that she does reciprocate your romantic feelings) may only scare her off altogether. The Friend Zone is sacred, amigo! So, cherish what you have. If you asked me, I'd choose a great friend over a lover any day.
Joined: 20 Jul 2004 Posts: 12782 Location: USA Country:
Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 8:17 am Post subject:
Ender's Girl wrote:
The Friend Zone is sacred, amigo! So, cherish what you have. If you asked me, I'd choose a great friend over a lover any day.
Id prefer both myself.
However my best friend from school is a guy and we have been close for almost 30 years now. We speak almsot daily. He lives on the other side of the country so we dont get together much. But definitely cherished! _________________
Joined: 03 Mar 2007 Posts: 394 Location: Malaysia Country:
Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 7:40 pm Post subject:
Maybe my wife is Japan girl but my best friend is Chinese girl hehehee . if i so close with my best friend (girl), maybe our girlfriend or wife will say " i don't like you so close with her".It so hard for me. Don't you?
Joined: 20 Jul 2004 Posts: 12782 Location: USA Country:
Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 12:22 am Post subject:
inamoto_yoi wrote:
Maybe my wife is Japan girl but my best friend is Chinese girl hehehee . if i so close with my best friend (girl), maybe our girlfriend or wife will say " i don't like you so close with her".It so hard for me. Don't you?
Since my friend lives so far away it isnt a problem.
But at first my husband was jealous. Now he likes to talk to him too! My friend is totally hilarious. _________________
Joined: 03 Mar 2007 Posts: 394 Location: Malaysia Country:
Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:05 am Post subject:
Good relationship but not all people like you.You are so lucky, Eve. If we talk about love, girls always like hansome or smart guy be their boyfriend ? What do you think about that ? i know you can give a good answer or another friend also can give you idea. i always see beautyful girls has hansome boyfriend.Maybe i jealous with who like that but i don't believe girl will choose ugly boy to be their boyfriend.
Joined: 11 May 2009 Posts: 479 Location: up hill and down dale Country:
Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:20 pm Post subject:
Eve wrote:
Since my friend lives so far away it isnt a problem.
But at first my husband was jealous. Now he likes to talk to him too! My friend is totally hilarious.
Wow, Eve, you're so blessed to have such a wonderful best friend AND a hubby who understands the meaning of the word "platonic." (I'm reminded of Dickens' David Copperfield and his "sweet Agnes," who remained the best of friends even when David married someone else.) Lifelong friendships that go beyond school are so rare these days.
inamoto_yoi wrote:
Good relationship but not all people like you.You are so lucky, Eve. If we talk about love, girls always like hansome or smart guy be their boyfriend ? What do you think about that ? i know you can give a good answer or another friend also can give you idea. i always see beautyful girls has hansome boyfriend.Maybe i jealous with who like that but i don't believe girl will choose ugly boy to be their boyfriend.
It's not always about looks, you know. Personality and compatibility (of lifestyle, value systems, culture, etc.) also play a big part, IMO. Besides, we all have different standards and ideals when it comes to these things, looks included.
Joined: 11 May 2009 Posts: 479 Location: up hill and down dale Country:
Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:51 am Post subject:
Itazura ichiban wrote:
She's crying because your English is so bad.
Kidding!
Glad things are working out okay for you.
I can understand inamoto_yoi just fine. That's what matters, right? It isn't easy being bilingual, you know. And for someone who speaks English as a second language, I think he's pulling it off rather well.
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Maybe she had some kind of personal problem that she was about to confide to you, then you cracked that joke and she felt that you were making light of her feelings...? 
,so i just smile.Thank God 
