aishetru wrote:

lots of people just say "daisuki" which mean really like, close to love. why don't say aishiteru? sometimes people say it, but not a lot. i think this does not just pertain to Japanese. lots of Chinese and Koreans don't say "i love you". i used to think it was good to say "i love you" to people you love all the time, like how Americans are always saying it. well coming from a family which does not say it, but then when something happened a few years ago, the emotions are much greater than the unspoken words. that's when i really knew how much i loved someone. i feel it much more inside than if i were to say those 3 words.

perhaps asians are unwillingly to reveal their true feelings cos most of my friends(chineses) would rather use the word "like" instead of "love. as a chinese, i dont dare to use the word "love" too. cos it seems to be used on serious relationship.

p/s: i dont know if most chinese think the same.
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von wrote:

perhaps asians are unwillingly to reveal their true feelings cos most of my friends(chineses) would rather use the word "like" instead of "love. as a chinese, i dont dare to use the word "love" too. cos it seems to be used on serious relationship. p/s: i dont know if most chinese think the same.

This is quite interesting. I can only speak for myself, I'm European, and well, I would use the (in)famous "I love you" ONLY in a serious relationship. Personally I consider the use of it in anything else as quite inappropriate. If I don't love her I just wouldn't use it. And well, lol, I'm also rather unwilling to reveal my true feelings right away hehe.

But maybe I'm just oldfashoined

Toranaga wrote:

This is quite interesting. I can only speak for myself, I'm European, and well, I would use the (in)famous "I love you" ONLY in a serious relationship. Personally I consider the use of it in anything else as quite inappropriate. If I don't love her I just wouldn't use it. And well, lol, I'm also rather unwilling to reveal my true feelings right away hehe. But maybe I'm just oldfashoined

I agree. Guess I'm old fashioned as well.

Love's a serious commitment and the term shouldn't be used flippantly...

bmwracer wrote:

Love's a serious commitment and the term shouldn't be used flippantly...

very agree with you on that. i cannot say 'aishiteru' or 'i love you' to someone if i don't mean it.

aishetru wrote:

very agree with you on that. i cannot say 'aishiteru' or 'i love you' to someone if i don't mean it.

I could say "I love you " easily in english for sum funny reason....but i can't say it at all in Vietnamese and Japanese.... Goes with your reason not being able to mean it whole heartedly
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i suppose its not only chineses/koreans/japanese who choose to use "i like you". "i love you" may seem like a normal sentence, but to say it whole heartedly is the most difficult thing and this applies to all races, nationalities and languages.

chineses arent direct with their feelings too. it will be damn embarrassing to say those 3 words out!

am i old fashioned too?
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von wrote:

chineses arent direct with their feelings too. it will be damn embarrassing to say those 3 words out! am i old fashioned too?

no, it's just that it's SO much into our culture.
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niko2x wrote:

no, it's just that it's SO much into our culture.

it seems that its easier for caucasians to say that, is it? correct me if i'm wrong.
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von wrote:

it seems that its easier for caucasians to say that, is it? correct me if i'm wrong.

if you're looking at it in a cultural point of view, the asians even had a hard time accepting handshakes as a common gesture until the westerner came to their country, while historically a lot of places in europe (and this may be because of my ignorance) places like italy and france greet one anyother with pecks on cheeks.
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niko2x wrote:

if you're looking at it in a cultural point of view, the asians even had a hard time accepting handshakes as a common gesture until the westerner came to their country, while historically a lot of places in europe (and this may be because of my ignorance) places like italy and france greet one anyother with pecks on cheeks.

The Russians too.

As for me? Well... I hold it with Doc Holiday... I try not to shake hands, atually I prefer the way the Asians, especially the Japanese, do it. A little bow, I think it adds to the atmosphere... Then again, I'm nuts.

niko2x wrote:

if you're looking at it in a cultural point of view, the asians even had a hard time accepting handshakes as a common gesture until the westerner came to their country, while historically a lot of places in europe (and this may be because of my ignorance) places like italy and france greet one anyother with pecks on cheeks.

Hmmm...i would say that it's the cultural background that makes it difficult to be put into words.

its understandable that hand shaking used to be a culture shock in the past.
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Toranaga wrote:

The Russians too. As for me? Well... I hold it with Doc Holiday... I try not to shake hands, atually I prefer the way the Asians, especially the Japanese, do it. A little bow, I think it adds to the atmosphere... Then again, I'm nuts.

you can prolly do that with your asian friends, but your caucasian/european friends/collegues, i'm sure may wonder "why the heck is toranaga bowing?" hahaha...
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niko2x wrote:

you can prolly do that with your asian friends, but your caucasian/european friends/collegues, i'm sure may wonder "why the heck is toranaga bowing?" hahaha...

the best solution is to use different methods for different nationalities in order to prevent misunderstanding. agree?


opps...we seem to be drifted away from the main topic.
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how about 'anata ga suki desu'? Is it common for Japanese people?

first off, this is my first post, so Hello to all. Now, I recently started seeing a Japanese girl and ran into the same thing. When we were on our second date, she was asking me what Japanese I knew. After talking for a while, I told her " anata ga suki da ne" and she kind of paused for a while and didn't say anything. Thankfully the feeling was mutual but I was confused for a little bit. Now I know why. Just thought I would nemtion it.

Ai (��) is originally love in a much wider sense. Ai originally was love along the lines of "love your neighbour" or the "love" of a mother to a child etc.

Love between man and woman usually was "koi" (��) in former times. But then again the whole idea of love (traditionally) is/was a different one in Japan as we see it in the Western Hemisphere. So traditionally if you liked someone very much you'd say "Suki desu" or "daisuki desu" you can well translate this as "I love you". It IS essentally the same.

The whole "ai shite iru" phrase is more or less the Japanese answer to Hollywood and the western influence, because they needed something that represents the western principle of love more closely than the Japanese understanding. That's why almost no one uses "ai shiteru" it is really stuff that you mainly hear in the movies. It's not really a Japanese way of saying I love you. Well, through the influence of the movies it has become more common, but still it doesn't feel right, somehow it feels "too thick", too "hollywood".

To add onto what someone else said, it's not only the Japanese culture that shies away from bold statements of love.

North Americans are supposedly notorious for saying "I love you," but we have to take this into context--these words do not necessarily hold their original meaning of "I am in love with you." If that were the case, most people would be even more shy to use such words describing an attribute of a person they favor, or that person's actions. "Love" has become North American English's most emphatic way of stating, "I really like/really enjoy." This is the same in Japanese, but given that North Americans have broken away from most English behavior of hiding feelings, it's considered cold or not expressive enough to say, "I really like you," when asked about feelings toward people close to you.

In Japanese, expressing the obvious fact with even a slight word like "Really like" automatically conveys love. No one would say "Aishiteiru" for the same reason that many men shy away from "I am deeply and passionately in love with you, your soul, and being," in English--who could use such a phrase lightly after even one year of dating???

haha~~
Maybe they are shy
you know Many Asians always very shy
Our Chinese calls :neilian (����)
Who can Translation for me.....
help~~

hmmm I never knew this.

"Suki" doesn't always mean "like," it can also mean "love," "interest," and a whole host of other meanings depending on the context.

Someone brought up Boku dake no Madonna, and that's a good example. Early in the series Surumi says to Kyouichi, "Kyon, dai-suki!" and at that point she is being cute, manipulative, and she knows that he's basically a good guy. By the end, she's (hopefully) in love with him, but she uses exactly the same words, "Kyon, dai-suki!" She isn't trying to be cute and manipulative at that point.

It's the same for English. "Love" can be anything from your feelings about a good french fry to your feelings toward someone you'd be willing to die for.

Don't get hung up on dictionary translations. The dictionary is a starting point, but the context dominates what is actually said.

From experience, I've seen that Japanese people don't express their love in words nearly as much as North Americans do. Don't read too much into it about whether one race feels more than another. Usually people express their love the same way they saw their parents express love. That's all it is (in most cases anyway).