Itazura ichiban wrote:

Judging by that article, Japanese women are more sexually promiscuous than they were when I visited there last. (Checks schedule and airplane flights.)

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*sigh* Not sure if this belongs here or not.

Been dating a few women from Asia, by which I mean ethnically Japanese or Chinese, and born over there. Not all at the same time!

It seems that for each of them, if I ask them a question that they don't care to answer, they'll just clam up. Not say anything, no explanation offered.

That's not something I ever encounter with an American woman, regardless of "racial" background. Unless she is mentally unstable. She'd either answer the question, or say that she wasn't comfortable answering the question, or, realistically, make something up.

But there seems to be a dating strategy among women from Asia (generalizing of course) of playing their cards very close to their chest, so to speak.

Any similar experiences?
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Itazura ichiban wrote:

Not all at the same time!

What a drag.

Quote:

It seems that for each of them, if I ask them a question that they don't care to answer, they'll just clam up. Not say anything, no explanation offered.

Maybe the fear of giving a "wrong" or unacceptable answer...

A cultural thing, I think.

Thanks!

I am still trying to get my head around this cross-cultural thing. Sometimes it's not worth the struggle.

If you're looking for an intimate relationship, you probably have fewer hurdles with someone who speaks your language fluently, and grew up in the same culture as yourself.

Don't get me wrong, it's interesting and enchanting etc to have friends from another culture, but there's always some sort of wall between you. Some people may enjoy that "good fences make good neighbors" but it's not for me.
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Itazura ichiban wrote:

Thanks!

Mind you, it's just speculation on my part... But I'm more than familiar with the ol' "saving face" scenario.

This is something that I see in the first few dates - so far. I mean, for instance, I ask her what month she was born in, and I get the blank stare.

Some people are more private than others, but I can't imagine her getting into a relationship or marriage without revealing - at some point -when her birthday is. So I am guessing and hoping that this will change with time and patience.

For someone accustomed to dating western women, Asian women seem to push their suitors away, although this is probably just due to my point of view.
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Itazura ichiban wrote:

I mean, for instance, I ask her what month she was born in, and I get the blank stare.

That's weird.

Too personal a question, maybe?

Though that seems relatively innocuous...

I think what bmwracer say is true.

Uh huh.

Itazura ichiban wrote:

This is something that I see in the first few dates - so far. I mean, for instance, I ask her what month she was born in, and I get the blank stare. Some people are more private than others, but I can't imagine her getting into a relationship or marriage without revealing - at some point -when her birthday is. So I am guessing and hoping that this will change with time and patience. For someone accustomed to dating western women, Asian women seem to push their suitors away, although this is probably just due to my point of view.

But you know, this is better than a girl who will outright lie to avoid revealing information. At least you know the info is withheld... and not lied about.
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Thanks guys, welcome to the world of cross-cultural dating.
I think that a large part of this may be a desire on the part of the woman to keep the man at arm's length until she feels ready.

I dated one woman from Japan, and she never told me where she lived. I just picked her up at the street corner. Yes, I had fantasies about dating a hooker. I understand that's pretty common. Not the bit about hookers, though. I'd better shut up now.
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Itazura ichiban wrote:

This is something that I see in the first few dates - so far. I mean, for instance, I ask her what month she was born in, and I get the blank stare.

Funny, the same thing just happened to me the other day, except I was the Asian girl and I wasn't on a date, just lunch with a classmate.

Like bmwracer mentioned, it is an innocuous question, so I'm surprised you'd get so many blank stares for such a questions. But, for me at least, it's kind of a psychological thing: I reckon the more people I disclose my birthday to, the worse I'll feel come bday and no one remembers

Oh, I also do that not-telling-you-where-I-live thing. Maybe all the women you've dated have been nutcases like me

tabemonster wrote:

Oh, I also do that not-telling-you-where-I-live thing. Maybe all the women you've dated have been nutcases like me

That's good to know.

That's okay, I have a few other seemingly-sane ladies lined up. One of them has got to be ready for a little itazura.
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Itazura ichiban wrote:

That's okay, I have a few other seemingly-sane ladies lined up. One of them has got to be ready for a little itazura.

What are you referring to?
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tabemonster wrote:

Oh, I also do that not-telling-you-where-I-live thing. Maybe all the women you've dated have been nutcases like me

I dont believe in giving out my last name, or my number until after the first dinner has gone well.
But my birth month would be ok.
(That would be February...If anyone wants to send presents... )

On the record:
Eve <----- Only partial nutcase.
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So I went out with a lovely Issei woman yesterday. She was classy and didn't give that cold $#!+.

In fact, she revealed a dark, private side of her past, catching me by surprise. I may be seeing her more often.
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Itazura ichiban wrote:

In fact, she revealed a dark, private side of her past, catching me by surprise.

Beggars can't be choosers.

lol from what i have seen it seems maybe the dating scene is becoming more promising for you
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Maybe now that school is in session, the divorced women with kids are finding themselves with time on their hands...

Actually, I'll be seeing a real cutie for dinner tomorrow. I mean we will be eating dinner together.
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